Sunken eyeballs: (JALAPENO CHEDDAR PRETZELS FOR THE BREAD MACHINE)

Soft doughy formed pretzels out of the proofer

My poor buddy Kevin arrived home from school today looking like all the cold viruses in the world had settled in his eyes. I couldn't believe the difference in him from this morning till he got home at 3 o'clock. Alright, he looked like shit to be honest. Both eyes were red and sunken and he sounded like he was speaking with his nose pinched. I was already in the process of making pretzels which I had thought would be fun and cheery after his first day back to school since the snowy-icy weather had begun. I didn't realize that I would be saddled with eight warm pretzels and no one to eat them ravenously like I had planned. He had plunked himself in bed not to emerge yet and it's already been four hours. So much for plans.


All lathered in egg wash and Kosher salt ready for the oven

My poor buddy. Having a cold is a drag and I'm unsure of what tomorrow morning will hold for him. Until then it's just me. And my blog. And my camera.

The finished product!

Jalapeno Cheddar pretzels for the bread machine

Ingredients:

7 ozs. warm water

1 tablespoon softened butter

1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

1/4 cup jalapeno peppers, chopped

2 teaspoons salt

2 teaspoons sugar

1 1/4 cups white bread flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

2 tablespoons sesame seeds

1 tablespoon wheat germ

2 teaspoons active dry yeast

Directions:

1. Place ingredients in your bread machine in the order listed above OR as recommended by your machine's manufacturer.

2. Select the DOUGH cycle and press start.

3. Let the dough run through it's cycle and watch for excessive dryness or wetness depending on the conditions in your kitchen. Correct accordingly with water or flour.

4. After the cycle is finished (usually 90 minutes or so) pull the dough onto a lightly floured board/surface and, without too much manhandling, cut into eight even balls.

5. Roll the balls into long logs and twist into pretzel shapes. Place on lightly greased pan and cover lightly with greased plastic wrap to prevent sticking.

6. Let rise (I sometimes use the dryer...no laughing, or the oven with a steaming pan of water underneath the tray) for approximately 30-40 minutes. Not too long or they'll get overswollen.

7. After the rise, lightly brush with an egg wash, cover with pretzel salt (all I had was Kosher) and bake in a pre-heated 350 degree oven for approximately 15-16 minutes and no longer than 20 minutes.

A little farting around: (GARLIC-CHEESE KNOTS)

I'm not really a full fledged home baker but I try to pretend with my bread machine that I've had for billions of years now. I love that machine. It even churns butter but I haven't used that feature in years too. Shame on me! Anyway, I tweaked a recipe for Garlic Parmesan Bread and turned the bread into knotted rolls, instead, through the dough cycle. No mystery and no great challenge there I know. But, I've always loved a local pizza joint's garlic knots and thought I would try to recreate some for home. Those garlic knots were HORRIBLE for you as they were covered, no DRIPPING, with melted butter and garlic and they were DELICIOUS. Bob, Kevin, and I would wolf a few down while waiting for our pizza. Real easy to polish off about five or so if you're not careful. But, I haven't had them in years and the memory is still there. I thought I would pay homage to Colosseum Pizza's yummy garlic knots as best I could.

Garlic-cheese knots:

Ingredients:

1 cup water
2 1/2 tbs. butter
1 tbs. honey
2/3 cup grated parmesan cheese
3/4 tsp. salt
2 tsp. garlic powder
1 cup whole wheat flour
2 cups bread flour
1 1/2 tsp. yeast

1/3 cup grated parmesan cheese
1 1/2 tbs. finely chopped garlic
3 tbs. butter

Directions:

1. Layer the above ingredients, starting with the water and ending with the yeast, into the pan of your bread machine.

2. Press the dough cycle and allow to process for the alloted time (mine's 90 minutes). Be watchful of the dough during the first few minutes to see if the dough incorporates well. Add water or flour as needed.

3. In a medium pan melt 3 tbs. butter and keep warm. Combine the parmesan cheese and garlic in a small bowl and set aside.

4. After the cycle is finished on your machine pull the dough out onto a lightly floured board. It should feel silky soft and not too sticky. Cut the dough into about 18 pieces and roll into small logs. Twist the dough log into a single small knot and place on a large greased baking pan in a single layer.

5. Dip each knot into the melted butter and then in the garlic cheese mixture. Place back on the baking sheet.

6. Cover lightly with plastic wrap and allow to rise 30 minutes in a draft-free warm area (this sounds crazy but I use my dryer for this step...preheat the dryer on high for 15 minutes, install the dryer rack, and place the tray inside).

7. Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. I place my baking stone in the middle of the oven and allow room at the bottom of the oven for a large aluminum pan to be filled with hot water during baking.

8. After the knots have risen, remove the plastic wrap (I know that you know that), and place the pan on the middle rack or on the baking stone. Place aluminum pan on the very bottom rack and fill with hot water. The idea is to create steam while baking.

9. Bake for approximately 30 minutes. Remove from oven and further slather some more melted butter on the knots.

The recipe for the dough is based on a "medium" size recipe for the bread machine. Approximately 18 rolls.

The rolls rose more than I would have preferred but still turned out pretty nice. I used them the next day with the left-over French Dip roast with au jus. Just sliced the knots up the middle and made small french dip sandwiches. Yummy indeed.

Lazy Sunday: (APPLE CHUNK BREAD FOR THE BREAD MACHINE)

Man I love Sunday's! Just change out of your pajama's into your sweat's kinda day. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and applied deodorant. I consider myself clean. Since it was a day where I farted around in the kitchen I wanted to make something I never made before. I found Apple Chunk Bread, yet again, from the old bread machine recipe book from Sam's Club that's a hundred years old. I had all the ingredients so I gave it a try. This is a combination of some of the printed ingredients and my variation on the instructions.

Apple Chunk Bread for the bread machine:

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups milk (room temperature)
3 tbs. vegetable oil
1 tbs. plus 1/2 tsp. Splenda for baking or 2 1/2 tbs. sugar
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/2 cups bread flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
2 tsp. yeast
1 1/2 medium peeled, diced apple

Topping:
2 tbs. Splenda
1 tbs. ground cinnamon
sprinkling of poppy seeds

Directions:

1. Layer ingredients in order, in bread machine pan, as listed above, starting with milk and ending with yeast. Start dough cycle on machine.

2. When machine stops kneading the dough and is at 50 minutes stop and pull dough from pan.

3. Preheat dryer to high or find dry area to set your formed dough. On a floured surface knead dough into diced apples. You may need to add bread flour occasionally to keep from sticking to the board.

4. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Form dough into football shape. Place on greased aluminum foil or parchment paper on cake pan. Cover with oiled (sprayed) plastic wrap and allow for expansion. Let rise for 90 minutes (in dryer or dry spot) until doubled.

5. Whisk 1 egg with a splash of water until blended. Blend 2 tbs. Splenda with 1 tbs. cinnamon until incorporated. When bread is finished rising, brush with egg mixture, sprinkle with Splenda/cinnamon mixture, and poppy seeds to taste.

6. Place in oven and reduce temperature to 350 degrees. Bake in oven for 30 minutes or until evenly browned and sounds hollow when thunked on the top.

7. Allow to evenly cool before slicing. Chill a good chardonnay to eat with later.

Post Script: The next morning Kevin requested a grilled ham and cheese on his apple chunk bread. I thought it was such a marvelous idea that I grilled one right up for him. It was wolfed down so fast I didn't get a picture (Kevin would've freaked). Needless to say it was a rousing success.